What can you do to remain positive and mentally well during this time?
By Nichea Spillane
In difficult times, it can be easy to get caught up in things that are going wrong. We might even focus so much on things that go wrong so much that it seems like that is all that is happening in our lives or in the world. As a result, it might be easy to overlook things that go well or moments of positivity in the world.
Focusing on these good things that happen can help us remember that, even when things seem bad, they are not all bad. Below, we detail a week of activities that can be easily done in a few minutes each day. Through research, these strategies are shown to increase well-being and happiness.
Day 1: Three Good Things: Share three things that went well for you during the day and why they went well. These can be small (“I had a really delicious apple”) or big things (“I finished up a big project that I’ve been working on”). It can be helpful to keep track of these good things by writing them down in a journal. That way, you can look back at the good things that have happened in tough times. You can also include your family in this activity, for example by doing it over dinner. A variation on this would be to discuss your high of the week. Parents can model positivity in their responses.
Day 2: Savoring Positive Memories: This is a great activity to do with other people. Scroll back through the camera roll on your phone or look through a photo album and pick a photograph that reminds you of a happy memory. Show the photograph to someone and tell them about what was happening when that photo was taken (you can email it too). If you are sharing this activity with kids, you can have them choose a photo and ask them to tell you the story of that memory — what made it such a happy memory? What was their favorite thing about it? Encourage them to draw a picture that depicts the memory and share it with the rest of the family.
Day 3 – Gratitude: It is easy to forget all that we have to be grateful for during stressful times. Gratitude is a powerful emotion that gives us a quick boost in our well-being. For this activity, think of someone for whom you have not properly thanked. Think about writing them a letter expressing your thankfulness. Again, this is something you can do with your kids, if you have children. Have them write a couple of thank-yous and send them. Right now, the people receiving these letters will be super thrilled to receive them!
Day 4 – Savoring: Sometimes we get in the habit of doing things and they become automatic; we can almost do them without even thinking about it. By slowing down and really taking in experiences, we can enjoy them more. One way to do this is to use all of our senses. Think of things that you do on a typical day and pick one activity that, while doing, you will savor. For example, doing dishes. You can notice the warm water, the feeling of bubbles on your hands, the smell of your soap, and if you are lucky enough to have a window above your sink, the outside sky.
Day 5 – Acts of Kindness: Mix up the Three Good Things activity by highlighting acts of kindness. Describe one good thing you did for someone else, one good thing you’ve seen someone else do, and one thing that you’ve done that was fun. There are no limits on what these things can be. For example, you can encourage your child to do kind things for other people in the family, like helping a sibling clean up after they have been playing. You can also find acts of kindness that are reported on the news or on social media. Examples of this might be individuals leaving large tips for waitstaff, CEOs of certain companies giving up their salaries so their workers can receive a paycheck, etc.
Day 6 – Savoring Walk: In our busy lives, we don’t always notice the pleasant, beautiful or positive things around. We can maximize the benefits of the good things we have around us by paying careful attention to the sights, sounds and smells we might not always notice. One way to do this can be to take a savoring walk. Take a walk outside (keeping social distancing in mind), and as you walk, try to notice as many positive things around you. For example, you might notice how pretty the trees look in the distance, how nice a neighbor’s garden looks, the smell of grass or flowers, or the interesting architecture of a building. You might also notice how nice the sun feels and the signs of spring that are beginning to emerge. Pause for a moment as you experience these things to really enjoy them. This is a great activity in which kids can get involved! Encourage them to point out things they like and describe what it is that they like about each thing as you walk.
Day 7 – Pick Your Own: Now you have a menu of options that you can pick from. Pick one you liked best and do that one today!
Nichea Spillane is an assistant professor in the Department of Pyschology, part of the College of Health Sciences.