Alone for the First Time

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I still remember the day my parents dropped me off at Hillside for the first time back in 2019. I could barely sleep the day before, it felt like Christmas Eve. I had been dreaming of moving into college since the day I got accepted. I had watched hundreds of college move-in videos on YouTube and could not wait to be able to experience it for myself. It was only a two-hour drive to URI from my house and my move-in time wasn’t until after 1 p.m., but that didn’t stop me from waking up at 6 a.m. I then spent that entire morning shaking with excitement, eager to see my dorm and meet my roommates for the first time. 

The reality of this being a huge lifestyle change didn’t set in until I came back into my dorm room after saying goodbye to my family. I had already delayed my parents and brother from leaving for long enough and it was finally time for them to go back to Connecticut. I sat on my bed in a shoe box of a room with two strangers that were now supposed to be my new best friends. What felt like it came out of nowhere, tears began to fall down my cheek and this was the moment when my whole world crashed. I no longer had the support system that I have had for the past 18 years by my side. I felt alone. Sure, what I was feeling was completely normal and I was surrounded by people going through the same exact thing, but I didn’t realize that at the time. I was so excited to decorate my room, eat in the dining hall, and meet new people that I wasn’t prepared for how I would feel once my family left.

blog writer liv with some friends on the quad after a color run

I learned a lot in that first semester of college. However, the most unexpected thing that I learned was that the hardest part about going to college isn’t going to class or trying to make friends, rather it is adjusting to living on your own for the first time. Basic human needs that were a routine for me when I lived at home became a struggle. I started to need reassurance for every decision that I made. Even though I was away from my parents, I became more dependent on others than I had ever been before. I constantly felt like I was doing something wrong. 

Now as a senior, I look back and wish that I didn’t question everything. I wasted so much of my time worrying that I would do something wrong that there were times when I would forget why I even came to college. Yes, for academics. But also to gain independence and to grow as a person. It is normal to question these things, but there are a few things that I wished I knew as a freshman that would’ve helped my transition to adulthood better. So here are three tips that I now know as a senior.

1. It is okay to be alone. As a freshman, I felt like I constantly needed to be around people or else I’d be missing out on the “college experience.” This forced me to have a social battery 24/7, which was extremely draining. In the beginning, I even went as far as not going to the dining hall alone because I was scared of what people would think. However, it is completely normal to go to the dining hall alone. I actually prefer it now. I can watch Netflix and eat at my own pace without worrying about when my friends have to leave. Alone time is important in college and it forces you to get out of your comfort zone, but it also impacts your mental health. It is crucial for your mental health to have days where you take a break and relax without having to worry about entertaining other people.

walk-way to the library, summer

2. Learn how to manage your time. Time management is just as important as taking time for yourself. During freshman year, I found myself putting off assignments until the last minute and it seriously affected the quality of work that I was handing in. To go along with that, it created unnecessary stress and anxiety. There were times when I would be hanging out with friends but the thought of having to get my homework done prevented me from enjoying myself. It felt like I wasn’t really there because I was too worried about everything that needed to get done. Creating checklists, prioritizing time to get my work done, and limiting distractions ultimately helped me become more productive in less time, improved my quality of work, and eliminated so much stress. It is such a simple thing to do, that you would never expect the drastic impacts it could have, but I promise you that it is so worth it.

blog writer liv with her friends outside of ranger hall

3. Learn to cook. As someone who now lives without a meal plan in Narragansett, I wish that learning to cook was more of a priority. I went into college barely knowing how to cut an onion, resulting in me wasting hundreds of dollars on take-out. I never wanted to cook anything because everything seemed so intimidating. When I eventually made the pact with myself to learn to cook, my eating habits improved immensely. Not only was I saving money, but it also improved how I was feeling because I was eating better quality foods. 

At the end of the day, when it comes to living on your own for the first time, it is normal to feel lost. It is important to remember that everyone feels like this when they first move into college. Nobody knows what they are doing and this uncertainty shouldn’t stop you from trying new things and getting out of your comfort zone. At the same time, you need to make sure to take time for yourself. These are things that I didn’t realize as a freshman that I am so grateful to understand now.

Hi everyone! My name is Liv Mott and I am from Cheshire, Connecticut. I’m a senior communications andblog writer liv public relations major with a minor in writing and rhetoric. On campus, I am also involved in Greek Life. When I am not writing or watching the sunset with my sisters, I am probably going on long car rides and exploring Rhode Island with a Starbucks pumpkin spice cold brew in hand. I love the beach and even in the winter, I can be found eating a Cool Beans acai bowl in the Narragansett Town Beach parking lot. This is my first semester as a blog writer for Campus Rec and I am super excited to share my voice with the Rhody community!

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