After a stressful first year of online college, I was feeling really burnt out and run-down by the time I got home to Connecticut for the summer. I’ve struggled with anxiety, overthinking, and other mental health issues since about my freshman year of high school. Knowing I was going to be home for a few months and have a lot of time to relax and work on myself, I decided soon after getting home that I was going to go on a journey to change my mindset and become a more relaxed, positive person. Today, I’m going to share with you some things I’ve learned and some resources for you to help change your mindset and make your life happier.
1. Read a self-help book
This summer, I was on a reading kick. I was working as a nanny, which led to a lot of downtime to read books rather than sit on my phone. I’d heard a lot of good things about self-help books, and I can safely say that it helped immensely in changing my mindset. The one that I read was called “Calm the F*ck Down” by Sarah Knight. In this book, Knight describes different ways to think about things that may be stressing you out in order to limit the amount of energy you spend on certain topics that are not important enough to be stressing over. She calls these “f*ck bucks.” If you stress over things that you can’t control, you’re spending too many “f*ck bucks” and wasting too much energy on an outcome that you quite literally have no control over. For example, if you have an outdoor concert on Saturday and the forecast calls for rain, it’s not worth it to stress over the thought that it MIGHT rain because you can’t control the weather. All you can do is prepare for it if it does rain – bring an umbrella, wear a raincoat, etc. This book helped me change my mindset and battle my anxiety way better than anything else I’ve tried. Every time you find yourself starting to overthink about something, stop and think “Can I control this?” If the answer is no, distract yourself with something else. If the answer is yes, think of the next steps to get your desired outcome. If you want a good grade on your exam, set aside time to study, and you’ll get a good grade.
2. Put good things out into the universe
If you read this headline and thought “Oh god, this is gonna be some voodoo manifestation stuff,” you’re kind of right. I don’t think I’m a witch, I don’t own crystals, but I do believe in the power of positive thinking and “mind over matter.” It’s too often that students and young people fall into the trap of automatically thinking that things are going to go wrong. “I have a big presentation to do today! I’m going to fail. I hate public speaking!” or “I really want this internship but I think that there are better candidates for the position!” If you go into your day thinking that things are going to go wrong, things are going to go wrong. However, if you do the best you can, believe in yourself, and tell yourself that even if they do go wrong, you’ll survive, you’ll notice that things will start going right.
It’s as simple as waking up in the morning and thinking “Today is going to be a good day.” If you go into the day thinking that you’re going to have a good day, chances are you’re going to look back at the end of the night and realize that you had a good day. Setting intentions for yourself is so important. And, if you ended up having an unlucky day, think about the good parts of it, even if it’s something as small as you got your favorite lunch.
3. Know When to Take a Break
I’m the kind of person who likes to constantly be busy. I’m involved in multiple clubs/organizations on campus, a double major, I write to-do lists in the mornings, take pretty notes on my iPad, and like to constantly feel productive. However, I often find myself falling into the trap of overworking myself until I feel like I’m going to explode. Whether you’re as busy as me or not, I think it’s important for any college student to know when to take a break. If you’ve been doing things for the past 2 hours, take a break. Listen to your favorite music, sit outside on the Quad, scroll through TikTok, FaceTime your mom, and NEVER underestimate the power of a 15 minute nap. College students are some of the busiest people, and it’s easy for us to get overwhelmed. Having a balance between work time and scheduling in time for a break is so important to a successful college career.
4. Surround Yourself With Positivity
This one sounds super cheesy but TRUST me when I say it helps. Go on Pinterest, look up positive quotes, and set one as your lock screen on your phone. And no, I’m not talking about one with a sunset in the background that says “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” I’m saying find a quote that you need as a reminder in your life at the moment. For example, my current lock screen is a graphic that says “Love yourself first.” I used to have one that says “One day at a time.” These simple reminders every time you open your phone can really help you get through your day.
As always, cut negative people out of your life. If you have a friend that you feel like judges you all the time, maybe distance yourself from them a little bit. It’s your life, you’re only this young and in college once, and would you rather remember being happy and having fun all the time or being judged and feeling bad all the time? I’ve had my fair share of toxic friendships and once you’re out and looking back on it, you won’t be able to believe that you ever were friends with them in the first place.
5. Leave the Past in the Past
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m a dweller. I can sit back and think about everything I’ve done wrong in the past 5 years for HOURS. It’s important to focus on where you are now rather than where you were then. College is a time for personal and professional growth, and when you think about how far you’ve come rather than where you started, you’ll feel so proud of yourself and so much better.
It’s important to remember that we are human. We’ve all made mistakes. And half of the time, the mistakes that you see as huge, nobody else remembers. Nobody remembers the time you fell in gym class during dodgeball in high school. If you’ve lost friends along the way, it’s just a part of your journey. What matters is the person you are now, and if you’re actively putting in effort to make that a person you’re proud of, that’s all that matters.
URI Resources
- • URI Counseling Center, 217 Roosevelt Hall, 401-874-2288.
- • Dean of Students Office, 302 Memorial Union, 401-874-2098.
- • Psychological Consultation Center, Chafee Social Science Center, Suite 100, 401-874-4263.
- • Campus Chaplains, 401-874-2740, amyolson@uri.edu.
- • Community, Equity and Diversity, 306 Green Hall, 401-874-7077, uriced@etal.uri.edu
- • Multicultural Student Services Center, 74 Lower College Road, 401-874-5829, mssc@etal.uri.edu
Hi! I’m Juliana and I’m a sophomore Communications and Journalism student from Brookfield, CT. I can’t wait to continue my passion for writing as a blog writer for InsideRec! Outside of Campus Recreation, I’m also involved in Greek Life, the Good Five Cent Cigar, and URI 101 mentoring. In my free time, you can find me watching the sunset in Narragansett, sitting on the quad with my friends, or in the line at Dunkin’ Donuts. I’m looking forward to writing more blog-style posts and giving advice from my own experiences!