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One of the most vulnerable pieces of myself comes from my writing. Throughout my life, I have always held back my voice and was scared for my words to reach other people. But now, entering the final six weeks of my semester abroad, I have found the power behind my words and the power behind storytelling.
This semester, blogging has been my biggest platform for writing. Campus Recreation has given me the opportunity to continue blogging while traveling the world. It has given me a way to connect with friends and family while worldwide, and share my experiences with others. But, most importantly, I have been creating a resource for myself to reflect on in the future. These blogs have been an important part of my study abroad experience and they are something I look forward to reading when I return home.
So, I welcome you to a note to myself and I welcome you to see a vulnerable part of myself. A part where I will be sharing ways that writing has influenced my life while being abroad.
To start, I am an avid poetry writer. I often find myself listening to my favorite songs with a pen in my hand, scribbling poetry into my journal. But, while being abroad, I have only written one poem. This was a poem that I shared with my Intercultural Communications and Leadership class in Cape Town. For me, I was completing a project, reflecting on what I have learned while studying in South Africa. Although I struggled to pick up the pen and try to form words to encapsulate my entire experience, I ended up writing something small in free verse. As a writer, it is hard to be satisfied with your own work until you take a step back. When I got to my final class in Cape Town, my professor chose me to present my project first and share what I have prepared for the class.
It was at this moment that I understood the power of my words. Still frightened to read my poetry in my junior year of college, I kept my eyes on my words and did not look up until I had finished. It was then that, I met my eyes with other students who had tears of their own. My professor, wiping her tears away, said one thing: “Keep writing.”
From this simple little phrase, I have gained the confidence to continue to share my writing. And for the first time on my blog, I would love to share what I wrote for this assignment with you! Being abroad has shown me new parts of myself and some that are still evolving. Therefore, I call this piece “Finding Myself.”
It is day 40 in Cape Town, South Africa, and the poetry has not seeped through my veins. Instead, words are clumping, cramming in my brain and fighting to be spoken first, fighting to be written first, to be heard first.
But, it is day 40 and I am scared to let them out because there is too much to say, so instead, I let the ink of my pen permanently mark the pages of this handmade journal. Permanently marking a memory in my mind: I am 21 years old in Cape Town; it is early morning and the words in my brain have finally won.
Flowing from my mouth onto the page, onto the pages that will forever hold words of an experience that has allowed me to follow a path that leads to the finding of myself. But, how can I find myself when I question every day? I thought I knew where I wanted to go, and where I wanted to be but I am finding comfort in the thought of not knowing.
Not knowing my next destination, not knowing my next feeling, not knowing when my poetry would be written next. I am finding comfort in things that I have never found comfort in before. What does that say about me?
The path that is leading me has trails to the past and I have learned that even from across the entire world, dirt from that path will always get kicked, and moved in chunks to the one I am meant to be on. I am a woman who can forgive her past but can never forget. Because forgetting is erasing what I have been through to get here.
I am in South Africa and I am on the path to finding myself, healing myself, and loving myself all over again. I am scribbling words onto pages of a brand-new journal. I am creating a life inside of this story that has been aching to be heard. But, where will this story go from here? What will be inside this journal next? With a flip of the page, the lines will move and come to life as I have. I am finding myself. I am finding myself. I am finding myself.
After reading this piece to my class and now sharing it in my blog, I feel a sense of relief. Sharing vulnerable words and part of yourself is scary. But, I have learned that if you hold back and do not use your own voice, it will be buried and not heard.
Just over a week ago, I was informed that one of my poems is being published in the SOLIDARITY zine, a Rhode Island zine that unifies stories of activism and social change. I submitted a poem to the zine that was inspired by someone speaking up about domestic violence. From this, I have once again learned the power of storytelling and how to use a voice on a platform. I believing sharing your work with others through whatever platform you have, helps others feel less alone. It can also provide encouragement to other to use their own voice and share what they have to say to the world. Similar to my poem for the assignment while in my Cape Town class, this poem on domestic violence has influenced someone to publish my poem in a way I would have never known if I did not share it with the world. Words have so much power and sharing those words is even stronger.
Writing, especially poetry, is extremely valuable. Through writing and poetry, I am finding myself. I am finding new ways to express who I am through my words. By continuing to explore different styles of writing, I am still able to share my voice with the world.
As a note to myself, and anyone who wants to fall into a new habit, my advice is to keep writing. You never know who is reading the words you wrote, and you never know where the poems, journal entries, or blog posts can take you. For me, it has taken me around the world. It has allowed me to make numerous connections, and it has allowed me share parts of my life that I never want to forget.
Hi friends! My name is Tara Roumes and I am a junior here at URI. With a double major in journalism and English, you can always find me writing! When a pen isn’t in my hand, a fresh cup of coffee and a book often replace it. My love for books can be found on Instagram, @taras_littlelibrary, where I post reviews and connect with other avid readers. If I am not reading or writing, I am definitely claiming a front-row seat at any athletic event on campus, playing with my two dogs, or listening to Harry Styles. This is my second semester blogging for Inside Rec and I am so excited to share my experiences, thoughts, and opinions with you! Right now I am studying abroad in Cape Town then I head to Sydney and Rome!