Sharing a home can make off-campus living more affordable and create some of the best memories of college. It also means sharing space, expenses, responsibilities, and decisions.
The secret to living well together? Talk about expectations before they become problems.
Set expectations
Put your agreements in writing.
Share costs fairly
Decide who pays for what.
Communicate early
Address small issues before they grow.
Choose a roommate who fits your lifestyle
You can be great friends and still have very different habits at home. Before you commit to living together, talk about what everyday life looks like for each of you.
Consider asking:
- Are you an early bird or a night owl?
- Do you prefer a quiet home or a place where friends frequently hang out?
- How do you feel about sharing food, supplies, and household items?
- What does a clean kitchen or bathroom look like to you?
- How do you handle money, deadlines, and responsibilities?
- How will you balance studying, sleep, work, and social plans?
Look for compatibility, honesty, and flexibility, not a perfect match. Pay attention to how a potential roommate handles differences of opinion. Can you have a direct conversation? Do they listen and follow through? Those habits matter.
Already have a roommate?
Use URI’s Off Campus Housing Portal’s Roommate Finder to explore roommate questionnaires and planning resources that can help you discuss expectations before moving in together.
Looking for someone to live with?
Explore the URI Off-Campus Housing Portal to search for potential roommates and learn more about finding a compatible living arrangement. Use the available roommate resources to start conversations about shared expectations and living preferences.
Talk about the things that can become difficult
Decide how to divide rent, utilities, internet, parking, and household expenses. Agree on due dates, payment methods, and who will manage each bill. If bedrooms or parking arrangements differ, discuss whether an equal split is fair.
Ask: What happens if someone cannot pay on time?
Agree on what “clean” means. Decide who handles dishes, trash, recycling, bathrooms, floors, and shared surfaces—and how often. A rotating schedule can keep one person from becoming the default cleaner.
Ask: What needs to be cleaned daily, weekly, or as needed?
Decide whether groceries, condiments, cleaning products, toilet paper, and other essentials will be shared or kept separate. If you share costs, choose a way to track purchases and reimbursements.
Ask: Is it okay to use something just because it is in the fridge?
Discuss visitors, overnight guests, partners, parties, advance notice, and how often people can stay. Everyone should have a say in what feels comfortable in their shared home. Follow your lease and local rules.
Ask: Do we need to check in before inviting someone to stay overnight?
Agree on quiet hours and expectations for music, television, gaming, phone calls, and early classes or exams. Think about headphones, shared study spaces, and how to handle occasional exceptions.
Ask: What does quiet time look like during finals?
Confirm how many vehicles the property can accommodate, who has assigned spaces, and whether guests can park there. Discuss carpooling or shared rides without assuming anyone is obligated to provide transportation.
Ask: What is our plan when everyone needs a parking space?
Set expectations for kitchens, bathrooms, living rooms, laundry, storage, and shared appliances. Agree on what is communal, what is personal, and what requires permission before borrowing.
Ask: Can we borrow dishes, tools, chargers, or toiletries; or should we always ask?
Decide how you will raise concerns, give feedback, and resolve disagreements. Agree to talk directly, respectfully, and early instead of letting frustration build or relying on passive-aggressive notes.
Ask: If something bothers us, when and how will we talk about it?
The most important step: Create a roommate agreement
Put expectations in writing.
A roommate agreement helps everyone talk through the details of living together before they turn into conflicts. It gives you a shared reference point when memories differ, schedules change, or someone needs to revisit an expectation.
Set aside 30–45 minutes before move-in. Work through the topics together, make sure everyone has a chance to speak, and write down what you decide. Keep a copy that everyone can access.
What should your agreement cover?
Roommate agreement checklist
- Who does the dishes, takes out trash, cleans the bathroom, and maintains shared spaces? How often?Guests and overnight stays
- Are overnight guests allowed? How much notice is expected? Are there limits on length or frequency?Noise and quiet hours
- What are quiet hours? What is acceptable for music, television, gaming, and calls?Pets
- Are pets allowed by the lease? Who is responsible for care, cleanup, costs, and damage?Shared costs and bills
- How are rent, utilities, internet, groceries, and household supplies divided and paid?Common spaces and belongings
- What are the standards for kitchens, bathrooms, living rooms, storage, and shared items?Borrowing and personal property
- What may be borrowed? What always requires permission? What items are strictly personal?Communication and conflict resolution
- How will you raise concerns, agree on next steps, and revisit unresolved issues?Parking and schedules
- Who parks where? How will you manage early mornings, exams, work shifts, and transportation?Reviewing the agreement
- When will you check in on how things are going and update expectations if needed?
This example checklist is a planning aid, not a signed agreement or legal document.
Make your agreement specific
| Instead of writing | Use instead |
|---|---|
| We will keep the apartment clean. OR Everyone will do their fair share. | Each person will wash their own dishes the same day. We will rotate taking out the trash every Sunday, and we will review the cleaning schedule at our monthly house meeting. |
| Too vague | Agree on something everyone understands |
The goal isn’t to create rules for every possible situation. It’s to make the important expectations clear and give everyone a fair way to revisit them.
How to live well together after move-in
An agreement is a starting point, not a one-time conversation. The habits you build throughout the year matter just as much as the decisions you make before move-in.
Check in regularly
Set aside 10–15 minutes every few weeks to discuss bills, chores, schedules, and anything that needs adjusting. A quick check-in can prevent resentment from building.
Do your part without being asked
Pay bills on time, clean up after yourself, replace shared supplies as agreed, and respect common spaces. Reliability builds trust.
Respect each other’s independence
Living together does not mean doing everything together. Give each other privacy, time alone, and room for different routines, friendships, and interests.
Be flexible when life changes
Exams, work schedules, relationships, and finances can change. Be willing to revisit agreements, listen to one another, and find solutions that work for everyone.
When something isn’t working, speak up early
Even good roommates disagree. The goal isn’t to avoid every conflict; it’s to address problems respectfully before they become bigger than they need to be.
Try this four-step approach:
- Choose a good time. Talk privately when you are both calm, rather than confronting someone in the middle of an argument or in front of guests.
- Describe the issue without blame. Explain what happened and how it affects you. Avoid labels, accusations, or bringing up every past disagreement.
- Listen and agree on a solution. Ask for the other person’s perspective and decide on a specific, realistic next step together.
- Follow up. Check whether the solution is working. If it isn’t, revisit the agreement and consider asking an appropriate campus or community resource for help.
What could you say?
| Situation | Examples |
|---|---|
| If dishes are piling up | “Could we revisit our kitchen cleanup plan? I’ve been having trouble using the sink when dishes are left overnight. Can we agree to wash our own dishes each day?” |
| If guests are disrupting your sleep | “I’m glad we can have friends over, but I have early classes and have been struggling to sleep. Can we agree on quiet hours and give each other a heads-up about overnight guests?” |
| If shared bills aren’t being paid on time | “I’m concerned about the utility bill because it needs to be paid by the due date. Can we set up a shared payment tracker and agree on when everyone will send their share?” |
If the same problem keeps happening, document relevant agreements and payments, return to the written roommate agreement, and discuss what needs to change. If you cannot resolve the issue yourselves, consider mediation or advice.
Important: If a conflict involves threats, harassment, coercion, or concerns about personal safety, prioritize your safety and seek help rather than relying on a roommate meeting to resolve it.
A roommate agreement can clarify household expectations, but it does not replace the lease. Review both documents, and get qualified advice if you are unsure about your legal obligations.
A good roommate relationship starts with a conversation
You don’t have to agree on everything, and you don’t have to be best friends. You do need to respect each other, communicate honestly, and follow through on shared responsibilities.
Before move-in, make time to talk. Write down your expectations. Agree to check in and make adjustments as needed.
Your shared home should be a place where everyone can feel comfortable, respected, and ready to succeed at college.